We need more than self-care.
"Please adjust your own mask first, so you can best assist those who need your help."
If you have ever flown anywhere, and if you paid attention to the safety briefing, you may have heard something similar to that sentence.
In an emergency where we might all need our oxygen masks - if you put the mask on a child or other person who needs help first - you would likely not be able to then put your mask on to support your own needs. Which means, by putting the other person first - you end up not helping them at all in the long run, because you aren't available - you didn't get your oxygen.
Many people use this metaphor to describe the importance of self-care, especially for those who work in the helping professions.
There is a much deeper and sustained need however, that is not always discussed. Because self-care may not always lead to healing and growth.
Especially now, with the increased rates of debilitating stress, anxiety, depression, and burn-out - it isn't just self-care that is needed. In order to best serve those who need us, we must recognize that maintaining our own well-being in the service of those who need us takes a great deal of consistent, compassionate, and often difficult work on our own stuff. A glass of wine and a quiet bath are lovely but they won't help heal the trauma that is being triggered when a student aggresses toward us. Exercise is extremely important, yet it will not be the only answer to navigating (or reducing) panic attacks in the middle of the work day.
Whatever strategies you choose to learn the skills (therapy, support groups, self-guided learning) - the work we do on our own struggles will take day to day effort, and will require us to lean into the difficult moments.
Our work on our own health takes time, it takes effort, and if we can do so consistently with self-compassion and courage - we will be able to support those who need our help.